Warning: Read at your own risk. Side effects include minor headache. Do not read if you are pregnant or have a weak heart or have never read Dilbert, Garfield or Calvin and Hobbes or have poor or no imagination at all.
On a stormy night, in a dark alley, tip tap tip tap tip tap tip tap..... went my heels as I was brisk walking, frightened and scared saving myself from 4 goons...before I knew I was sprinting. I thought of calling for help, calling my friends, but my friggin' cell phone died on me, that good for nothing piece of rock! As I knew it, my end was not far, I just ran faster and faster, against all forces of nature. Believe me, the water does hit you real hard and impedes your speed.
Trembling from inside, as I was racing thro' the hard pouring rain, tippity tap tippity tap tippity tap, went my heels now...those dark ugly men had knives in their hands, they were after me, I kept runnin' runnin' and runnin' runnin'..and while I was trying to remember the lyrics of this song by Black-eyed peas, I heard a sharp shrilling meoooowwwwww, a cat jumped out of a garbage can. It's green eyes shone brightly in the dark, enhanced by the silver and striking lightening. It was raining hard and my mascara started spreading...I should have bought the water-proof mascara, what was I thinking....darn!!!!Will remember this next time, if I am alive.
Anyway, as I was running to save my life, running out of breath, I reached a huge wall, a dead-end, nowhere to go, surrounded by scary nocturnal creatures, tons of pairs of eyes staring at me from nowhere and as I turned back, one of the goons devilishly laughed and what I saw next scared the bejesus out of me. He had a fake green eye, just like that cat (see, this is where the cat in the previous scene is related in case you are wondering...) and his teeth were just too white, reminded me of that F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode where Ross whitens his teeth for his date.. oh my God it was so funny....but wait, right now I was friggin' sweating like a pig or was I just feeling wet 'coz of the rain? Hmmmm.....couldn't tell the difference, although now I know for a fact that my body spray really does work!!!!
So, where was I?....Aah, yes, the goons came closer and closer, I was trembling, I did not know what to do. I couldn't think, I was scared. The four of them on the other side, in a line, and poor ol' me on this side. All of a sudden, the street lamp flashed and at the exact same moment, a light bulb inside me flashed. With my survival instincts, I gathered courage, my chin up and my eyebrows raised,I said: Can you handle this, you suckers? I swung my hand, just like one does while playing Golf (yeah, I have started playing golf now...) and flung my purse and knocked the living daylights outta them.
No, no, golf doesn't make one's hands so strong, but the swing did help. So here's where the star of this blog makes the grand entry. I knew it!!! (imagine Seinfeld saying it!!!). My hard as rock, sturdy Nokia 3360 cellphone may not give me the best signal or may not have features like camera, IR or bluetooth, but it sure did save my life today.
I removed it from my purse and there in its backlight I could actually see the graffitti on the wall, which btw was really cool, but alas! I couldn't take a picture, no camera phone you see...
So, there you go! Lesson learnt: there are times when you wonder what on earth made you get that useless cellphone,sometimes pepper-spray may not help, but your regular old junkie cell phone which barely works can save your life...so, now as we all know, the great lord created everything for a purpose, only at times, is the purpose remotely close to what it appears to be. Hmmmmm....
